​Embrace Uncertainty and Enrich Your Life

“Don’t seek for everything to happen as you wish it would, but rather wish that everything happens as it actually will—then your life will flow well.” — Epictetus
Takeaways

• Embracing uncertainty can lead to personal growth, creativity, and resilience.
• Tolerating uncertainty improves mental health, work engagement, and life satisfaction.
• Scientific studies show that reframing stress as a challenge enhances performance in unpredictable situations.

 
My mother taught me the value of embracing uncertainty from a young age.  Her mantra was “Dhairayam Irra”—Tamil for "Be courageous."  She lived by these words, breaking barriers in her time. She was one of the first women to ride a bicycle in Saidapet, a tough neighborhood in Madras (now Chennai), India.  She was also the first woman in her family to work for the Madras Corporation after finishing high school. When she became a widow in her early 50s and was later diagnosed with breast cancer, she faced these challenges head-on with resilience and determination. She lived another 30 years with energy and optimism, even moving to the United States.

She was no super-hero. She was devastated with my father’s death and she was terrified of surgeries and hospitals in general. She displayed traits of courage, adaptability and resilience, traits that science is showing that all of us can learn.

Her lessons on courage and adaptability shaped my life and now resonate with ancient Stoic philosophy and modern scientific research on resilience, creativity, and growth. These lessons have helped me navigate layoffs, betrayals, health challenges, and personal struggles.

Lesson 1: Accept That Life Is Full of Unknowns 
We often think we can control what happens in life, but the truth is we can’t predict much of what lies ahead. Instead of fearing uncertainty, we can choose to accept it as part of life. Think about times when unexpected events led to something good—these moments remind us that not all surprises are bad.Research shows that people who tolerate uncertainty are happier and more satisfied with life. They adapt better to change and find meaning in both good and bad experiences.
Try This

• Action Step: Each evening, write down one unexpected event from your day and something positive that came from it.
• Mantra: “I don’t need to know everything to move forward.”
• Practice: When you feel anxious about the unknown, take a few deep breaths and remind yourself that uncertainty is normal.

Lesson 2: Growth Comes From Discomfort 
Uncertainty often feels uncomfortable, but this discomfort is where growth happens. My mother stepped out of her comfort zone when she learned to ride a bike in a tough neighborhood or faced cancer treatments with bravery.  Psychologists like Michel Dugas have found that people who see uncertainty as a challenge rather than a threat are better at handling stress. Reframing stress as an opportunity for growth can also improve performance in high-pressure situations.
Try This

• Action Step: When you feel stressed, try box breathing: inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 4 seconds, exhale for 6 seconds.
• Mantra: “This challenge is helping me grow.”
• Practice: Once a week, do something that feels slightly uncomfortable but safe—like trying a new activity or speaking up in a meeting.

Lesson 3: Curiosity Creates Opportunities 
Curiosity is key when dealing with uncertainty. My mother approached her cancer treatments with questions instead of fear, which helped her feel more in control. Research shows that curious people are more engaged at work and find more joy in their personal lives.  When you approach challenges with curiosity, you open yourself up to learning and connection, which builds resilience over time.
Try This

• Action Step: The next time you face a problem, ask yourself: “What can I learn from this?”
• Mantra: “Not knowing is the start of discovery.”
• Practice: When something doesn’t go as planned, write down three possible reasons why it happened.

Putting It All Together 
Embracing uncertainty isn’t about having all the answers—it’s about building habits that help you handle life’s surprises with courage and curiosity. Start small by practicing one tip this week: reflect on unexpected events, step out of your comfort zone, or ask more questions when things don’t go as planned. These steps may seem simple, but over time they can help you live with more strength and confidence—just like my mother did.

References
Dugas, M. J., Freeston, M. H., & Ladouceur, R. (1997). Intolerance of uncertainty and problem orientation in worry. Cognitive therapy and research, 21, 593-606.
Maggie Jackson Uncertain: The Wisdom and Wonder of Being Unsure (Prometheus, 2023, 344 pages)