The Tug-of-War: Lessons from Adults Navigating ADHD and OCD

Takeaway Summary:

• You are not broken: Having both ADHD and OCD symptoms is a recognized neurological pattern, not a character flaw.
• The internal struggle is real: Pushing the "gas" and "brake" at the same time is physically and mentally exhausting.
• Access matters: Awareness of these conditions is growing, but we must ensure everyone has access to the right tools.
• Coping is a skill: Techniques like meditation and neurofeedback are practical ways to manage your specific "engine."

Many years ago, an adult student with ADHD first introduced me to the profound benefits of meditation. That student shared how the practice significantly helped them manage their unique focus and daily challenges. Since that initial introduction, I have continued to support many adults with ADHD and OCD who have joined my meditation classes. It is truly rewarding to see that recent scientific research has finally proven what my students knew from the beginning.
Often, adults in these situations feel "broken" or "lazy." They might be incredibly smart and organized in some areas, yet they feel "messy" or out of control in others. If you have ever felt like you are a living contradiction, you should know that recent research reveals interesting patterns that can help all of us understand our brains better.

The Overlooked Intersection
For a long time, the medical community thought Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) and Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) were opposites. One was viewed as being distracted, while the other was viewed as being overly controlled. We now know they frequently go hand in hand.

Research indicates that between 25% and 30% of adults diagnosed with OCD also meet the criteria for ADHD (Abramovitch et al., 2015). When these two exist together, they create a unique tug-of-war in the brain. This can make daily life feel exhausting.

The Car Analogy: Gas Versus Brake
To understand what is happening inside a brain dealing with both ADHD and OCD, imagine you are driving a car:

• The ADHD part is like a gas pedal that is stuck down. Your brain wants to zoom toward every new idea or shiny distraction it sees.
• The OCD part is like a brake that is jammed. Even when you want to move forward, your brain "brakes" on a specific worry or ritual and refuses to let it go.

Because you are pushing the gas and the brake at the exact same time, your engine gets incredibly hot. You burn through your fuel and you end up feeling completely drained. It often feels like you are working twice as hard just to stay in one place.

Breaking the Barriers to Help
It is also important to recognize that not everyone gets the same access to understanding these conditions. Studies on intensive treatment programs have found significant gaps in who receives care. For example, one major study showed that while OCD affects people of all backgrounds, racial and ethnic minorities are often underrepresented in specialized treatment settings. They sometimes make up as little as 1.5% to 5% of the participants in certain residential programs (Williams et al., 2015).
Understanding these patterns is the first step toward finding better coping mechanisms for everyone, regardless of their background.

Why Meditation and Neurofeedback Help
If you have a car with sensitive equipment, you need specific tools to help you manage the controls. These techniques act as a master class in high-performance driving.
Meditation: Cleaning the Windshield When you have ADHD and OCD, your windshield is often covered in the "bugs" of intrusive thoughts and distractions. If the glass is dirty, you cannot see where you are going. Meditation does not fix the engine, but it helps you see clearly. It teaches you to sit in the driver seat and watch the traffic of your thoughts go by. You learn to observe the road without feeling like you must chase every other car.
Neurofeedback: Monitoring the Dashboard In a standard car, you rely on the dashboard to tell you your speed and fuel levels. In an ADHD or OCD brain, the "gauges" on the dashboard are often broken or giving false readings. Neurofeedback is like installing a new, high-tech dashboard. It provides real-time data on how your engine is revving. This feedback helps you practice finding the "sweet spot" where the car is moving smoothly. It teaches you how to manually release the brake or ease off the gas so you can cruise at a steady pace.

Action Items

1. Identify the Tug-of-War: Throughout the day, notice when you feel both scattered and stuck. Simply labeling it as "my gas and brake are on" can reduce the frustration.
2. Practice the Windshield Breath: Spend three minutes focusing only on the sensation of air entering your nose. If a distraction or a worry appears, imagine it as a bug hitting the windshield. Notice it, but do not let it stop the car. Check out articles in this blog on simple breathing techniques
3. Explore Neurofeedback: Research basic neurofeedback options/training your brain might help you find a calmer frequency. 

Recommended Reading
If you found this helpful, please explore these other articles from my blog:

• Breathe Your Way to Better Focus: The ADHD and HRV Connection
• The Missing Piece in OCD Recovery: Your Nervous System’s Hidden Signal
• The Art of Multi-tasking: Gifts of ADHD
• 3 Valuable Lessons ADHD Students Taught Me About the Power of Meditation

References
Abramovitch, A., Dar, R., Mittelman, A., & Wilhelm, S. (2015). Comorbidity Between Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder and Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder Across the Lifespan: A Systematic and Critical Review. Harvard review of psychiatry, 23(4), 245–262. https://doi.org/10.1097/HRP.0000000000000050
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Monnica T. Williams, Broderick Sawyer, Rachel C. Leonard, Melissa Ellsworth, James Simms, Bradley C. Riemann, Minority participation in a major residential and intensive outpatient program for obsessive-compulsive disorder, Journal of Obsessive-Compulsive and Related Disorders, Volume 5, 2015, Pages 67-75, ISSN 2211-3649, https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jocrd.2015.02.004.

Disclosure: This article is for information purposes only. If you or any loved one suffers from OCD/ADHD, please get professional help.