 One of my favorite radio programs is "Speaking of Faith" hosted by Krista Tippet. On the show last week, Krista interviewed experts on Alzheimer's disease - the dreadful disease that slowly unravels and destroys the memory of the patient. There was a particularly touching story of a lady who was very upset that her husband could not recognize her any more. Every time, she went to see him, she kept asking him who she was and he kept repeating he did not know her. However, one fine day, her husband said " I don't know who you are . . . but I know that I love you very much"!
That answer took my breath away. It appears that love is an emotion that is buried deep inside our subconscious- way below the physical brain. Our memories may go away but love remains for a long time. Love and other emotions are often below the 'rational' thinking part of our mind - like stress, anxiety and worry. Love, therefore, is a very powerful stress reduction tool for us. One Buddhist meditation techniques is referred to as the "Loving Kindness" Meditation. It involves relaxing the body and focusing on sending and receiving love to the people around us and by expansion to all the life in the world and universe. I find it a very powerful meditation technique . . . and so do many of my program participants. In your daily life, you can use love to relax and find peace in many ways - 1. Spend time with your loved ones -. This may seem like common sense but often we are so busy meeting our work and other life deadlines, we miss out on the opportunity to spend time with our loved ones. I am, sometimes, guilty of brushing off my five year old's request to play games when I am busy with work or other activities. 2. Images and Memories - Take the time to think of your loved ones - are your grand parents deceased? Do you have beautiful and loving memories of them - relax and enjoy those memories. Take the time to replay your child's first words or walk, look through your wedding videos and look through your friends' letters. I love old photo albums. 3. Call and write to your loved ones faraway - In the 1980s the phone company AT&T had a series of TV commercials - "Reach Out and Touch Someone" {See Youtube clip}- about calling your mother or grandmother. In those days of letter writing, people complained about the lack of personal touch of a phone call. But today we see the short messages in texting and emails - I wonder if quantity is as important as quality in communication. 3. Volunteer your time - work in a local soup kitchen, help with food delivery (Meals-On-Wheels Program). The very act of helping other people often brings down our levels of stress. How do you feel love? Does it help you cope with the challenges of your life? Let me know. Check out the interview with Alan Dienstag below: https://onbeing.org/programs/alan-dienstag-alzheimers-spiritual-terrain-memory-2/ Alzheimer's disease has been described as "the great unlearning," a "disease of memory," a "demise of consciousness." But what does it reveal about the nature of human identity? What remains when memory unravels? And how might such insights help Alzheimer's sufferers themselves? Photo by Ajay Royyuru - http://tinyurl.com/WorksByAjay
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Sometimes, my meditation workshop participants ask me why I don't discuss stress analysis or try to find the root cause of their stress. “Would that not be a logical way to eliminate or reduce the stress?” they want to know.
My answer is two fold: 1. Stress occurs at very low (primitive) level of our brain. In many cases, we respond almost instinctively (one of my friends calls it a "knee-jerk" reaction) to unique triggers. We realize we are stressed-out or angry almost after the fact. Irrespective of our triggers, challenges or problems, our body almost runs the same script for stress. It may be tightening of the stomach muscles or shoulders or any other physical pattern that we have "trained" ourselves to. 2. Stress often depends on our own unique perspective and values. Another person (unless he or she is very close to you - like a spouse, parent, sibling or a close friend) cannot really empathize or feel the pain with you. As an instructor in meditation and mindfulness, I definitely cannot be in a position of judgment about your values and problems. So what is the solution to stress? The important and immediate response to stress is becoming aware of the stress, anxiety and pain in your body. You can then, use a variety of stress reduction techniques to manage your stress by physical and mental relaxation. As you get more relaxed, your mind reaches a more empowered state. Don't you feel that you can solve problems better when you are in a more relaxed and energized state? The key goal of any good stress management system is to bring your mind to such a state where you can rationally work through your problems and challenges. When you reach a very relaxed state, you can actually trigger your "Right" or the creative side of the brain to bring forth effective solutions that even your logical or "left” side of the brain cannot think of!! Stress analysis is an important part of stress management and you can enhance that by logically studying your challenges and following a disciplined problem solving plan. But all that comes later, after you have managed your stress to levels at which you are comfortable. Here are two articles you may find of interest:
Happy Meditation! You “You teach best what you most need to learn.”
– Richard Bach I am no “guru” or “master” - I deal with anxieties, stresses and fear on a daily basis like same as any of you About 15-20 years ago, I got frustrated with these issues and ever since have always been looking for and exploring different strategies to cope with stress. Also, I realized that stress often comes in short spurts and if it is not controlled, it keeps increasing until it gets out of proportion and causes anxiety. If you can work on your stress in the first five-ten minutes of its appearance – in most cases – your anxiety levels will come down. The goal is to reduce your stress to “manageable” levels since stress like fear and pain has an important role to play in our lives. If we did not have any fear, pain or stress – we would not survive long. Fear prevents us from doing things that are dangerous. Pain is often a signal that there is something wrong. Stress at work ensures that we meet our deadlines. The key is stress “management”. Meditation (the skill of focusing your mind internally) and mindfulness practice (the skill of focusing on the “NOW” or the present moment) are the basis of these effective stress management tools. Use one or more of them the next time you are stressed out. 1. Listen to music If you are one of the fortunate who can play a musical instrument or you are trained in music, you know the power of stress reduction that comes to you as you play your instrument or sing a favorite song. Most of us have our favorite pieces of music to relax with. I am no music superstar and I love singing in the shower and I listen to Indian and western classical music, jazz dance music and 80's Rock and Roll when I grade graduate research papers. What is your favorite music genre? 2. Write a letter Not an email but a snail mail one with pen and paper to a loved one. Is there a family member or friend who will appreciate a long letter from you? Take the time to compose your thoughts and write a letter. The very act of writing triggers your right brain and will help you relax. 3. Sketch or color with your children/grand children Do you have young children around your house? If not, borrow them. Get a set of crayons and print our some pages from websites below. Make sure that you use crazy colors – purple for leaves – green for people’s face etc.For that matter any work with your hands (be it knitting, sewing, clay modeling, flower arrangements – list is endless) calms your mind and serves as a stress buster. 4. Take a shower or a long bath There is something super-relaxing about water. May be it is the massaging action or just the feel of water or the primordial memory of our time in the secure womb before birth! Showers and baths sure have a powerful way of removing stress from our bodies. Add a handful of rock salt to the water to experience a greater sense of relaxation. 5. Play with a ball In one of my previous blog articles, I discussed about the use a tennis ball to focus on my walking meditation. Just the act of throwing and catching a ball can have a therapeutic effect on your stress levels. In the Movie “The Great Escape” – Hilts – a character played by Steve McQueen – uses a baseball glove and ball to relieve the tedium of solitary confinement.
I have the brown finger as far as gardening goes – I nearly killed a potted plant, which was sold as an “indestructible” plant but gardens and flowers have a magical effect on me. If you are fortunate to live close to a garden (indoor or outdoor) – do recharge yourself among plants and flowers 7. Pets The companionship and stress reduction ability of pets – especially dogs and cats is well-known. If you are fortunate to have pets in your house, you know the power of these animals in providing a presence and healing effect. Nothing symbolizes unconditional love and joy as a puppy dog! 8. Read or write a poem One of my favorite poems is by American Poet Walt Whitman Afoot and light-hearted I take to the open road, Healthy, free, the world before me, The long brown path before me leading wherever I choose. Henceforth I ask not good-fortune, I myself am good-fortune, Henceforth I whimper no more, postpone no more, need nothing, Done with indoor complaints, libraries, querulous criticisms, Strong and content I travel the open road. 9. Help your friend Take the time to help friends or your loved ones with their problems. It is amazing when you look at other people’s problems and consciously work to help or support them; you get a unique perspective on your stress. 10. Cooking Grab a recipe book or a recipe from the internet. There are 100s of recipes for healthy foods that can be prepared in 15 minutes or less. Cooking is a very relaxing activity – especially when you immerse yourself in multiple senses – observing the colors of ingredients, smelling the spices and hearing the rhythmic chopping of vegetables on the cutting board. 11. Maintain a Journal An effective stress observing and reducing technique is to put your thoughts in paper. While you can use your laptop, pen and paper have a special impact on my creativity. Many of the outlines of these articles are sketched out in pen and paper. Examining your thoughts in this way gives you a unique and powerful perspective on your life. 12. Take a Power walk Take a ten or fifteen minute walk around the block. Focus only on the act of walking and the present moment. Not only will you feel more relaxed, you will find that you get significant energy 13. Get a healthy snack Tomes have been written on the negative impact of junk food that people eat when they are stressed. Keep apples, oranges in your office or home – take the time to enjoy a healthy snack. For me, even the act of peeling an orange and smelling the fruit helps me relax 14. Focus on routine tasks around the house/ office Cleaning the bathroom or vacuuming the living room tidying up wardrobes and other routine housekeeping chores often act as metaphors for ridding the mind of negative thoughts and stresses. As you focus on the routine activity, see how your mind relaxes and copes with your challenges. 15. Focus on your breathing Most of you who attended my meditation classes know the power of focusing on breathing. Just put your palms over your belly and observe your breathing. This will reduce your stress levels. While lovemaking and sex may be one of the most powerful stress reducing technique, I have kept this out of the list because it often goes over the limit of 15 minutes. Sex and love making produces unique stress reducing chemicals and mood enhancing hormones . . . you already know that! Tell us your favorite stress busting technique - leave a comment below! |
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