“Don’t seek for everything to happen as you wish it would, but rather wish that everything happens as it actually will—then your life will flow well.” — Epictetus Takeaways
My mother taught me the value of embracing uncertainty from a young age. Her mantra was “Dhairayam Irra”—Tamil for "Be courageous." She lived by these words, breaking barriers in her time. She was one of the first women to ride a bicycle in Saidapet, a tough neighborhood in Madras (now Chennai), India. She was also the first woman in her family to work for the Madras Corporation after finishing high school. When she became a widow in her early 50s and was later diagnosed with breast cancer, she faced these challenges head-on with resilience and determination. She lived another 30 years with energy and optimism, even moving to the United States. She was no super-hero. She was devastated with my father’s death and she was terrified of surgeries and hospitals in general. She displayed traits of courage, adaptability and resilience, traits that science is showing that all of us can learn. Her lessons on courage and adaptability shaped my life and now resonate with ancient Stoic philosophy and modern scientific research on resilience, creativity, and growth. These lessons have helped me navigate layoffs, betrayals, health challenges, and personal struggles. Lesson 1: Accept That Life Is Full of Unknowns We often think we can control what happens in life, but the truth is we can’t predict much of what lies ahead. Instead of fearing uncertainty, we can choose to accept it as part of life. Think about times when unexpected events led to something good—these moments remind us that not all surprises are bad.Research shows that people who tolerate uncertainty are happier and more satisfied with life. They adapt better to change and find meaning in both good and bad experiences. Try This
Lesson 2: Growth Comes From Discomfort Uncertainty often feels uncomfortable, but this discomfort is where growth happens. My mother stepped out of her comfort zone when she learned to ride a bike in a tough neighborhood or faced cancer treatments with bravery. Psychologists like Michel Dugas have found that people who see uncertainty as a challenge rather than a threat are better at handling stress. Reframing stress as an opportunity for growth can also improve performance in high-pressure situations. Try This
Lesson 3: Curiosity Creates Opportunities Curiosity is key when dealing with uncertainty. My mother approached her cancer treatments with questions instead of fear, which helped her feel more in control. Research shows that curious people are more engaged at work and find more joy in their personal lives. When you approach challenges with curiosity, you open yourself up to learning and connection, which builds resilience over time. Try This
Embracing uncertainty isn’t about having all the answers—it’s about building habits that help you handle life’s surprises with courage and curiosity. Start small by practicing one tip this week: reflect on unexpected events, step out of your comfort zone, or ask more questions when things don’t go as planned. These steps may seem simple, but over time they can help you live with more strength and confidence—just like my mother did. References Dugas, M. J., Freeston, M. H., & Ladouceur, R. (1997). Intolerance of uncertainty and problem orientation in worry. Cognitive therapy and research, 21, 593-606. Maggie Jackson Uncertain: The Wisdom and Wonder of Being Unsure (Prometheus, 2023, 344 pages)
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![]() Three Ways To Stop Intrusive Thoughts . . . in 3 minutes or less Takeaway Summary:
Intrusive thoughts often gain power when we dwell on the past or worry about the future. Mindfulness helps you focus on the present moment, reducing the hold of these unwanted thoughts. Here’s how to get started:
Set a timer for 3 minutes. If this technique does not work, move to the next one! 2. Use Positive Affirmations to Reframe Your Thinking Positive affirmations can counteract intrusive thoughts by reinforcing empowering beliefs. Research shows that affirmations work best when they align with your core values and are repeated consistently. Here’s how to use them effectively:
Set a timer for 3 minutes. If this technique does not work, move to the next one 3. Challenge and Reframe Negative Thoughts Intrusive thoughts often feel overwhelming because we mistake them for truths. By challenging these thoughts and replacing them with more balanced perspectives, you can regain control over your mind. Here’s how:
Key tip - Writing a journal for 3 minutes works for most of my students! Action Steps:
References MCQueen, A. (2006-10-01). Experimental manipulations of self-affirmation: A systematic review. Self and identity, 5(4), 289-354.doi:10.1080/15298860600805325 Koole, S. (1999). The cessation of rumination through self-affirmation. Journal of personality and social psychology, 77(1),1 Coehn G L (2009) Recursive processes in self-affirmation: Intervening to close the minority achievement gap, Science, 2009 - sciencemag.org, https://ed.stanford.edu/ sites/default/files/recursive_processes_final_science.pdf Your browser does not support viewing this document. Click here to download the document. Dream Big and Cherish Everyday Moments: A Guide to Goal SettingTakeaway Summary:
Why wait for a perfect day to be happy? Joy and gratitude are within your reach right now. As you pursue your dreams, remember to appreciate the small joys of today. This article will guide you on how to set meaningful goals while enjoying every moment along the way.Set Goals and Enjoy the PresentMany people believe happiness comes only after achieving success, like finding the perfect job or partner. However, research shows that happier people are more likely to succeed in work, relationships, and health. The good news is that we can train our minds to be happier and more productive.Play and PlanStart by writing down your dreams and goals. Think about what you truly want in life. This could be anything from traveling to a new place or learning a new skill. Don't hold back—dream big!Daily Joys and GratitudeMake a list of things that bring you joy each day. This could be as simple as enjoying a cup of coffee or taking a walk in nature. Keep a gratitude journal where you write down what you're thankful for each day. Remember, it's okay to feel both joy and sadness; they are different parts of our brain working together.Mini Habits for Big ChangesIdentify small actions you can take daily that align with your goals. These mini habits could include:
Clear, J. (2018). Atomic habits: An easy & proven way to build good habits & break bad ones. New York, New York: Avery, an imprint of Penguin Random House. Fogg, B. J. (2019). Tiny habits: The small changes that change everything. Boston, Massachusetts: Houghton Mifflin Harcourt. Check out this blog article on the CORE daily routines www.meditation-magic.com/blog/start-your-day-right-simple-routines-for-a-successful-and-happy-life Many of my students like this one too - Finding Meaning and Purpose www.meditation-magic.com/blog/finding-meaning-and-purpose-in-uncertain-times Three Ways We Avoid Feelings . . .and What We Can Do About It
Takeaway Summaries:
Here are three ways we often dodge our emotions and how we can face them in a healthy way. 1. Keeping Ourselves Busy Many people pack their days with activities to avoid thinking about their feelings. While this might work for a while, it can lead to stress and feeling disconnected from ourselves. What We Can Do:
With so many gadgets and apps, it's easy to use technology to avoid dealing with emotions. Whether it's scrolling through social media or watching videos, these distractions can keep us from facing our true feelings. What We Can Do:
Some people try to deal with their feelings by thinking about them too much instead of actually feeling them. This can create a wall between what we think and what we feel. What We Can Do:
Meditation for Non-Meditators
Meditation can seem daunting, especially if you're new to it and find your mind racing or your body restless. However, these experiences are not signs of failure. Instead, they are natural parts of the meditation journey. Even experienced practitioners with a regular meditation practice deal with restlessness and other meditation challenges. Here are three key takeaways about meditation:
Meditation is about being aware of awareness itself. This means paying attention to what you are experiencing in the present moment without judgment. Regular practice can improve your understanding of your physical body, emotions, and thoughts. One simple technique is focusing on the breath or even on the sensation in your feet. This can help anchor your mind and bring you back to the present moment. Alternative Practices If sitting still feels challenging, consider these alternative mindfulness practices:
To integrate meditation into your life, try these simple steps:
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