 “We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men who walked through the huts comforting others, giving away their last piece of bread. They may have been few in number, but they offer sufficient proof that everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms -- to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way.”
― Viktor E. Frankl When I was young boy, bugged by numerous questions, my father suggested that I look around. His admonition to me was “You can always find a book that has the answers you are looking for”. I am yet to prove my father wrong. Dr Viktor Frankl’s “Man Search for Meaning was one such book. A survivor of the Holocaust, Dr Viktor Frankl, a Viennese psychiatrist from the tradition of Sigmund Freud and Alfred Adler, focused on suicides and I have read that book several times and I always get different and deeper answers. Dr Viktor Frankl suggests that we can discover the meaning of life in three different ways:
“It did not really matter what we expected from life, but rather what life expected from us. We needed to stop asking about the meaning of life, and instead to think of ourselves as those who were being questioned by life—daily and hourly. Our answer must consist, not in talk and meditation, but in right action and in right conduct. Life ultimately means taking the responsibility to find the right answer to its problems and to fulfill the tasks which it constantly sets for each individual.” Inventor of Logotherapy (logos = “meaning” in Greek) – Dr Frankl asked the most depressed patients he encountered a seemingly simple six word question… ”Why do you not commit suicide?” From here, Dr Frankl explored how his patient actually found joy in, what made their life worth living … in other words, what the meaning was in their life. Once that discovery was made, he could start helping them to improve their mental health and to move away from thoughts of suicide. Three key questions for you to explore
What is your purpose in life? Check out the Venn Diagram on top (Graphic from https://blogs.nasa.gov/womenatnasa/). Write or discuss with a loved one - friend, family or even a stranger!
Additional resources Adam Leipzig has figured out that it takes five questions in under five minutes to discover what you are meant to do with your life. Check out this TEDx talk https://www.goodnet.org/articles/ted-talk-week-your-life-purpose-in-5-minutes Oprah Website . If you're struggling with the question "Who am I meant to be?", this quiz can help you figure out what really defines you. Based on personality science, I have identified seven "striving styles," modes of thought and behavior that direct us to seek satisfaction in different ways. https://www.oprah.com/inspiration/who-are-you-meant-to-be-self-assessment-quiz_1 Stephen Pressfield's interview by Oprah - a 4 minute video on "4 Questions to Find Your Calling" www.huffpost.com/entry/steven-pressfield-oprah_n_4004741 Greater Good Website: How strong is your sense of purpose? To find out—and discover steps for strengthening it—take this quiz, which is primarily based on the Claremont Purpose Scale developed by psychologists Kendall Bronk, Brian Riches, and Susan Mangan. When you're done, you'll get your score, learn more about the benefits of purpose, and find resources for identifying and cultivating your own life goals. https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/quizzes/take_quiz/purpose_in_life Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor E. Frankl One of the ten most influential books in America. —Library of Congress/Book-of-the-Month Club "Survey of Lifetime Readers" It is just 200 pages long and you can read it multiple times. Who Was Viktor Frankl? Jewish Biography as History Dr. Henry Abramson https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=axXsz2TVoAw Nice biography/Summary https://biographics.org/viktor-frankl-biography-life-search-meaning/ Other Dr K’s favorite Viktor Frankl quotes “When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” “Ultimately, man should not ask what the meaning of his life is, but rather must recognize that it is he who is asked. In a word, each man is questioned by life; and he can only answer to life by answering for his own life; to life he can only respond by being responsible.” “It did not really matter what we expected from life, but rather what life expected from us. We needed to stop asking about the meaning of life, and instead to think of ourselves as those who were being questioned by life—daily and hourly. Our answer must consist, not in talk and meditation, but in right action and in right conduct. Life ultimately means taking the responsibility to find the right answer to its problems and to fulfill the tasks which it constantly sets for each individual.” “In some ways suffering ceases to be suffering at the moment it finds a meaning, such as the meaning of a sacrifice.” “I do not forget any good deed done to me & I do not carry a grudge for a bad one.” “For the first time in my life I saw the truth as it is set into song by so many poets, proclaimed as the final wisdom by so many thinkers. The truth - that Love is the ultimate and highest goal to which man can aspire. Then I grasped the meaning of the greatest secret that human poetry and human thought and belief have to impart: The salvation of man is through love and in love.”
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 100+ reasons to be grateful, your path to joy, wisdom and courage 100+ Reasons to Be Grateful - Build Your Resilience and Find Love, Joy and Peace When I start one-on-one coaching with a new student, I often complete an inventory of my student's strengths based on questionnaires and their life-story essays. Yep - the students have to complete a lot of home-work - we use the euphemism "Home-Fun" LoL! We find that gratitude is often a dominant strength for many of my students. These students leverage gratitude daily to feel love, joy and peace and build resilience. I attended an amazing online meditation session this weekend run by my friend Subba. He is based in Singapore and has a lovely yoga resort in Bali. At the start of the meditation session, Subba suggested that we write 100+ reasons to feel grateful. He said the opposite way is very easy. Given the negative bias of the mind, it would be very easy for 100+ things that we can complain about. Subba suggested that we turn that around. 1. I have laundry to do . . . I am grateful that I have clothes to wear 2. My house is cluttered with junk . . . I am grateful to have a roof over my head 3. I have a bad boss . . . I am grateful for a job that pays the bills You get the drift. Now, Subba and I are not suggesting we live in a la-la land but often we are so busy complaining about life and we miss the wonder, joy and wisdom that comes along with the state of gratitude. I decided to try his gratitude exercise and I got stuck after the first five minutes. I persisted and bingo. I broke the hundred reasons into blocks of ten. 1. Ten people I am grateful for - wow! I could easily write 20+ people I am grateful for - including my dear friend Subba whom I have known for 30+ years 2 Ten magical places I have visited - Jerusalem, Cape Town . . . the list is quite endless 3. Ten books that have changed my life including Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl 4. Ten Foods that I like the most - I didn't stop with 10 - LoL 5 Ten Songs/Music pieces that I enjoy again and again including the Happy Song 6. Ten body parts that I am grateful - eyes, ears, tongue . . . you know where I am going with this 7. Ten skills that I have and made my life better for myself and others - including meditation and public speaking 8. Ten movies that I watch again and again - including Shawshank Redemption 9. Ten Activities that bring me pleasure including hiking, dancing, swimming, 10. Ten Pieces of Art that bring me joy - including photos of Space by the Hubble Telescope. 11. Ten coincidences or chance happenings that transformed my life - Ah! so many people just came into my life at the right time, teaching opportunities, jobs . . . the list is endless. I have been doing this exercise for the past three days - just looking at the categories fills my heart with love and joy. I encourage you to try this just for a week. I am sure you have ten categories of your own. Try it and send me a note or add a comment below! Want to know more about my friend Subba? Check out his youtube channel and his website. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lLsfHQp3xuM https://www.beingmemindfulness.com/ If you want scientific information and more details on how you can cultivate gratitude in your life, check out this earlier blog article of mine https://www.meditation-magic.com/blog/three-grateful-ways-to-access-joy-and-happiness
The media loves to publicize the dangers of excess stress in promoting negative behaviors and decreasing our immune system. We all know about sleepless nights when we worry about our jobs, relationships and problems. We know how excess stress seems to manifest in physical pain and inability to enjoy simple pleasures.
Ancient wisdom and recent scientific studies show that it is our perception of our stress that may be to blame. In fact, stress is part of our evolution and it has many benefits including help us with focus and provide us with spurts of energy! Stress can actually lead to a longer life – as long as you look at it as a positive! A recent study at UW Madison surveyed about 30,000 persons to rate their level of stress over the past year as well as how much they believed this stress influenced their health — a little, a moderate amount or a lot. Public death records were examined to track these persons over a period of 8 years. People who reported having high levels of stress AND who believed stress had a large impact on their health had a 43% increased risk of death compared to people who experienced a lot of stress BUT did not perceive stress to be negative. In fact, the persons who did not perceive stress to be negative had a lower chance of dying even compared to the people who considered their stress levels to be low! Consider the three "Gifts" of Stress: Focus: In stressful situations, our heart beats faster, our breath quickens and we may start sweating too. Stress focuses our attention on the problem at hand, increases our energy levels and motivates us to deal with the situation. Connection: We are often driven to get support and help from our friends and family during periods of stress. We also want to protect, love and support our loved ones during their tough times. Growth: Emotional responses to stress often make us review the stressful conditions. We learn and try to change or act in different ways. It does not mean that you throw yourself in long and stressful conditions at work but be aware of stress in your life. Act on your strong emotions (Not react). See if you can find the "gifts" from the challenges you are facing. Let us assume that you work with a tough boss and you feel very stressed during your meetings with him or her. It is possible to train your mind to thrive in that stress. Here are four mini-steps on behavior awareness and change that can transform your life! Step 1 – Focus objectively on the situation: Pay attention to how stress manifests itself. How does the stressful meeting with the boss cascade into your daily activities. Do you pass on the stress to co-workers, your family, your friends? Writing a journal or talking about it with your spouse or best friend is great first step . . . but do not stop there. Step 2 – Trigger Your Relaxation Connect this awareness practice with an activity just before meetings with your boss. As you head out to your meeting, take a few minutes to view the photos of your loved ones. Touching a little Buddha statue or tracing your kid’s drawing is another nice trigger to remind me to be aware of your reactions to stress. Step 3 –Get Ready - Write a little blessing for yourself (“May I be happy and peaceful”) or any other phrase to center yourself. See this blog article for more information on similar phrases and how to use them. http://meditation-magic.com/key-to-happiness-cultivate-our-capacity-for-kindness/ Step 4 – Act and Adapt- As the meeting starts, you may be surprised that your stress levels do not build up as quickly as before. When they do come, you will aware of them. Resolve to see how your body reacts to stress and how it benefits you in small doses. Does your stress help you to focus better? Do you get a burst of nervous energy? Talk to yourself. Accept stress is part of millions of years of evolution and it is designed to guide and protect you. As you continue this practice of “stress-awareness”, you will be amazed to see stress in a new light. You will welcome it as an “old” friend and leverage the sense of urgency when you need it. Find opportunities to learn and grow! You will also learn to dissipate your anxiety and stress when it is not needed. Download: Free Download 10 min Guided Meditation: Three Gifts of Stress by Dr K (Background Music: Insight Meditation by J.S. Epperson https://higher-music.bandcamp.com/album/insight, used with permission) Do not use this meditation while driving or when your complete attention is needed for a task at hand. References |
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