 “We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men who walked through the huts comforting others, giving away their last piece of bread. They may have been few in number, but they offer sufficient proof that everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms -- to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way.”
― Viktor E. Frankl When I was young boy, bugged by numerous questions, my father suggested that I look around. His admonition to me was “You can always find a book that has the answers you are looking for”. I am yet to prove my father wrong. Dr Viktor Frankl’s “Man Search for Meaning was one such book. A survivor of the Holocaust, Dr Viktor Frankl, a Viennese psychiatrist from the tradition of Sigmund Freud and Alfred Adler, focused on suicides and I have read that book several times and I always get different and deeper answers. Dr Viktor Frankl suggests that we can discover the meaning of life in three different ways:
“It did not really matter what we expected from life, but rather what life expected from us. We needed to stop asking about the meaning of life, and instead to think of ourselves as those who were being questioned by life—daily and hourly. Our answer must consist, not in talk and meditation, but in right action and in right conduct. Life ultimately means taking the responsibility to find the right answer to its problems and to fulfill the tasks which it constantly sets for each individual.” Inventor of Logotherapy (logos = “meaning” in Greek) – Dr Frankl asked the most depressed patients he encountered a seemingly simple six word question… ”Why do you not commit suicide?” From here, Dr Frankl explored how his patient actually found joy in, what made their life worth living … in other words, what the meaning was in their life. Once that discovery was made, he could start helping them to improve their mental health and to move away from thoughts of suicide. Three key questions for you to explore
What is your purpose in life? Check out the Venn Diagram on top (Graphic from https://blogs.nasa.gov/womenatnasa/). Write or discuss with a loved one - friend, family or even a stranger!
Additional resources Adam Leipzig has figured out that it takes five questions in under five minutes to discover what you are meant to do with your life. Check out this TEDx talk https://www.goodnet.org/articles/ted-talk-week-your-life-purpose-in-5-minutes Oprah Website . If you're struggling with the question "Who am I meant to be?", this quiz can help you figure out what really defines you. Based on personality science, I have identified seven "striving styles," modes of thought and behavior that direct us to seek satisfaction in different ways. https://www.oprah.com/inspiration/who-are-you-meant-to-be-self-assessment-quiz_1 Stephen Pressfield's interview by Oprah - a 4 minute video on "4 Questions to Find Your Calling" www.huffpost.com/entry/steven-pressfield-oprah_n_4004741 Greater Good Website: How strong is your sense of purpose? To find out—and discover steps for strengthening it—take this quiz, which is primarily based on the Claremont Purpose Scale developed by psychologists Kendall Bronk, Brian Riches, and Susan Mangan. When you're done, you'll get your score, learn more about the benefits of purpose, and find resources for identifying and cultivating your own life goals. https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/quizzes/take_quiz/purpose_in_life Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor E. Frankl One of the ten most influential books in America. —Library of Congress/Book-of-the-Month Club "Survey of Lifetime Readers" It is just 200 pages long and you can read it multiple times. Who Was Viktor Frankl? Jewish Biography as History Dr. Henry Abramson https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=axXsz2TVoAw Nice biography/Summary https://biographics.org/viktor-frankl-biography-life-search-meaning/ Other Dr K’s favorite Viktor Frankl quotes “When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” “Ultimately, man should not ask what the meaning of his life is, but rather must recognize that it is he who is asked. In a word, each man is questioned by life; and he can only answer to life by answering for his own life; to life he can only respond by being responsible.” “It did not really matter what we expected from life, but rather what life expected from us. We needed to stop asking about the meaning of life, and instead to think of ourselves as those who were being questioned by life—daily and hourly. Our answer must consist, not in talk and meditation, but in right action and in right conduct. Life ultimately means taking the responsibility to find the right answer to its problems and to fulfill the tasks which it constantly sets for each individual.” “In some ways suffering ceases to be suffering at the moment it finds a meaning, such as the meaning of a sacrifice.” “I do not forget any good deed done to me & I do not carry a grudge for a bad one.” “For the first time in my life I saw the truth as it is set into song by so many poets, proclaimed as the final wisdom by so many thinkers. The truth - that Love is the ultimate and highest goal to which man can aspire. Then I grasped the meaning of the greatest secret that human poetry and human thought and belief have to impart: The salvation of man is through love and in love.”
0 Comments
 I am sharing some of my favorite quotes and short exercises with the idea of creating the perfect week — seven days of reflection and action to help you live better, more resiliently, and more peacefully. You know my mantra – sometimes, action is more important than over-thinking😊. The first tiny step you take to your important goals, people and dreams is the key to your success, love and joy in your life.
“essentials to happiness in this life are something to do, something to love, and something to hope for.” ― Hector Garcia Puigcerver, Ikigai: The Japanese Secret to a Long and Happy Life Write on a few post-it notes and leave it scattered around your house – your bathroom mirror, by your bedside, in the kitchen, at your work desk “I change best by feeling good, not by feeling bad” *** Day 1: Start with Love and Connection Everyone knows that I love hugs – I have been getting a lot of them “virtually”. Take time to connect with your family and friends. Make a list of 5 family/friends with whom you have not connected in a long time. You can check your phone, social media or email for these connections. Send them a note on your status and ask them theirs! Easy Peasy! Tiny action: Today, when I talk to any family member, beloved friend or respected colleague, I will acknowledge in my mind and through words or actions as to why they are important to me. Mini-reward – Sing and/or dance along to your favorite song. My favorite song is Happy by Pharrell Williams Day 2: O stands for Optimism and Opportunities I have suddenly found time for many of my pet projects (Unfortunately, my room is cluttered as ever). I am making time to explore some ideas, read books that I have kept for a rainy day (who knew?) and helping friends with their business ideas. Make a list of your pet projects or ask your loved ones how you can help. Be prepared for surprises. Tiny action: Each time, I finish a phone call, I will write out an idea or pet project that I want to work on Mini-reward – if you capture at least 3 pet project ideas, eat a small piece of dark chocolate or a favorite treat. Okaaaay – one glass of wine after 5 PM is acceptable. LoL Day 3: R for Resilience “The Devil whispered in my ear, “You’re not strong enough to withstand the storm.” Today I whispered in the Devil’s ear, “I am the storm.”” - Unknown Journaling is a great way to capture these tough times. I promise you; these days will be over in a flash. Take time to record your fears, anxieties and anger. You will look back at these days with fondness because these days will make us stronger. Set a timer for 5-10-or-15 minutes and write . . . it is as easy as that! Mini-task – After I finish an important task, I will set a timer for 5 minutes and reflect on my challenges and “difficult” emotions. No judgement or self-criticism Mini-reward – Watch my favorite TV episode or read a short story on the internet One of my favorite sci-fiction stories – Isaac Asimov – Nightfall -http://www.astro.sunysb.edu/fwalter/AST389/TEXTS/Nightfall.htm Day 4: E is for energy – start your day with music, dance and exercise Yes! I know the gym is closed, we are supposed to be inside the house. Just check out the number of free online Zumba, yoga and meditation classes that are available. Make time to do one new class. If you are on Facebook, join your friends and do the class with them virtually Mini-task – After eating any snack or meal, I will dance, walk around or do stretches for at least 5 minutes Mini-reward – Buy something online for under $10.00 as a gift for yourself or for a loved one. Write a nice thank you note to yourself for keeping on this journey! Day 5: Make time for “Negative Feelings’ Anger, Anxiety, Sadness … “Never apologize for being sensitive or emotional. Let this be a sign that you’ve got a big heart and aren’t afraid to let others see it. Showing your emotions is a sign of strength.” –Brigitte Nicole If you know me well, you know that I will never ask you to put on a “happy” face. The world is going through challenging times. Today, reach out to a friend who needs emotional support. Reach out by phone or the internet. Mini-task – As soon as you wake up, set an alarm on your phone to call or reach out to a family or friend who you know is in pain or going through a difficult time. Email, call or skype them. Mini-reward – Give yourself a massage – check out youtube for some great 5 minute self-massages - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uUNi-lqZz84 Day 6: Reflect on your life goals and objectives “Remember how far you’ve come, not just how far you have to go. You are not where you want to be, but neither are you where you used to be.” –Rick Warren Many of our plans and actions have come to a standstill. This is a great time to evaluate Mini-task: Set a 30 minute appointment with yourself. Use color pens and your journal. Write your bucket list, text your family and friends for ideas and suggestions. At the end of the day, plan to start your work on 1-2 of your favorite bucket list item. Mini-reward: Take a 15 minute nap – My favorite sleep nap app - https://pzizz.com/ Day 7: Gratitude – the Key to Joy! “Gratitude is the healthiest of all human emotions. The more you express gratitude for what you have, the more likely you will have even more to express gratitude for.” —Zig Ziglar This is the easiest and most powerful of all exercises. If you struggle with this exercise, reach out to me and I will give you a personal 15 minute guided session. Why? Because you have read the article till this point. You are clearly interested in this program! Good for you! Task: Each time you sit down, write down what you are grateful for and what you do to make it happen. Check out this blog article for more ideas https://www.meditation-magic.com/blog/three-grateful-ways-to-access-joy-and-happiness Reward: Celebrate your end-of-the week with some “sinful” eating (ice-cream and chocolate?) or binge-watching. My favorite binge watching channel is hoopla – there are many great Canadian, Australian and British TV series in that free channel from my local public library. Schaumburg District Township Library is one of the top 10 best libraries in USA! Please send me your comments and suggestions after you try out these ideas. If you liked this article, check out this blog article - Start Your Day Right - Simple Routines For A Successful And Happy Life https://www.meditation-magic.com/blog/start-your-day-right-simple-routines-for-a-successful-and-happy-life Here are 40 simple ways for accessing joy on a daily basis https://www.huffpost.com/entry/happiness-tips_b_2405608 Want reward ideas – check out this blog article 155 Ways to Reward Yourself for Reaching Your Goals https://www.developgoodhabits.com/reward-yourself/ BJ Fogg Ph.D, Tiny Habits: The Small Changes That Change Everything (2019, BJ Fogg Ph.D (Author) https://www.tinyhabits.com/start-tiny
Anxiety is an emotion we all feel from time to time--sometimes for good reasons, and sometimes not so much. Anxiety is one of the strongest emotions we feel, and it can provide us with motivation, power, push, and drive.
Human brain has evolved uniquely for us to look at the future and review the past. Mother Nature also has provided us with a negative bias. Clearly, these adaptions have helped us survive as a species. Anxiety often comes when our brain creates images of our future that can be scary (remember our inherent negative bias). At its worst, anxiety can be incredibly frustrating and challenging, we can experience debilitating fear, worry and nervousness. At its best, however, anxiety is an emotion that can fuel us to great success--and ultimately, even happiness--so long as we control the anxiety we feel, and don't let it control us. Anxiety often can help us pay attention to detail and provide us energy to push through roadblocks. I always remind myself that anxiety and excitement have the same physical “symptoms”, the only difference is the thoughts we have. Change your thoughts and you can change anxiety to excitement! Want to learn how to turn your anxiety into success? Here are 3 steps to do just that. Step One - Pause Naturally, the most straightforward thing to do is simply to observe your anxiety. For most of us, anxiety manifests in form of rapid heart rates, breathing and sweating. One of my students, a busy executive, sits down and writes a blessing “May I be happy and peaceful” and puts his palms over his belly and just observes his breath. This pause often interrupts our negative bias. Step 2 - Reflect A nurse friend of mine grabs a pad of paper and writes what is worrying her. The act of writing slows down her thinking and she is able to look at her fears with a more balanced perspective. Write the worst thing that can happen and then look at other possible outcomes. Sometimes, it helps to talk with trusted colleague, friend or family member. Step 3 - Act Physical activity is an important step for most of us. In many cases, I will walk out of my office and go for a walk around the block. If the weather is not favorable, I will walk up and down the staircase. Another friend likes to use the coloring book for 5-10 minutes. Dancing to your favorite relaxing music can be powerful. Many of my students like to use “Blessing Meditation” Check this link out for more details. https://www.meditation-magic.com/blog/key-to-happiness-cultivate-our-capacity-for-kindness Be patient and kind to yourself. Gently remind yourself “This too shall pass”. The more you take time to practice these three steps Pause, Reflect and Act”, you will be able to train your brain for love, peace and joy. Send me your questions and comments! Some of my students like this three minute video on releasing anxiety https://vimeo.com/showcase/6730459/video/553684152 Disclaimer: One in five Americans suffer from anxiety disorders. It's not uncommon for someone with an anxiety disorder to also suffer from depression or vice versa. Nearly one-half of those diagnosed with depression are also diagnosed with an anxiety disorder. Anxiety disorders are highly treatable, yet one in three of those suffering receive treatment. Check your healthcare provider and local health department for resources. https://adaa.org/about-adaa/press-room/facts-statistics https://villa-medica.com/anxiety-disorders/ 
 100+ reasons to be grateful, your path to joy, wisdom and courage 100+ Reasons to Be Grateful - Build Your Resilience and Find Love, Joy and Peace When I start one-on-one coaching with a new student, I often complete an inventory of my student's strengths based on questionnaires and their life-story essays. Yep - the students have to complete a lot of home-work - we use the euphemism "Home-Fun" LoL! We find that gratitude is often a dominant strength for many of my students. These students leverage gratitude daily to feel love, joy and peace and build resilience. I attended an amazing online meditation session this weekend run by my friend Subba. He is based in Singapore and has a lovely yoga resort in Bali. At the start of the meditation session, Subba suggested that we write 100+ reasons to feel grateful. He said the opposite way is very easy. Given the negative bias of the mind, it would be very easy for 100+ things that we can complain about. Subba suggested that we turn that around. 1. I have laundry to do . . . I am grateful that I have clothes to wear 2. My house is cluttered with junk . . . I am grateful to have a roof over my head 3. I have a bad boss . . . I am grateful for a job that pays the bills You get the drift. Now, Subba and I are not suggesting we live in a la-la land but often we are so busy complaining about life and we miss the wonder, joy and wisdom that comes along with the state of gratitude. I decided to try his gratitude exercise and I got stuck after the first five minutes. I persisted and bingo. I broke the hundred reasons into blocks of ten. 1. Ten people I am grateful for - wow! I could easily write 20+ people I am grateful for - including my dear friend Subba whom I have known for 30+ years 2 Ten magical places I have visited - Jerusalem, Cape Town . . . the list is quite endless 3. Ten books that have changed my life including Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl 4. Ten Foods that I like the most - I didn't stop with 10 - LoL 5 Ten Songs/Music pieces that I enjoy again and again including the Happy Song 6. Ten body parts that I am grateful - eyes, ears, tongue . . . you know where I am going with this 7. Ten skills that I have and made my life better for myself and others - including meditation and public speaking 8. Ten movies that I watch again and again - including Shawshank Redemption 9. Ten Activities that bring me pleasure including hiking, dancing, swimming, 10. Ten Pieces of Art that bring me joy - including photos of Space by the Hubble Telescope. 11. Ten coincidences or chance happenings that transformed my life - Ah! so many people just came into my life at the right time, teaching opportunities, jobs . . . the list is endless. I have been doing this exercise for the past three days - just looking at the categories fills my heart with love and joy. I encourage you to try this just for a week. I am sure you have ten categories of your own. Try it and send me a note or add a comment below! Want to know more about my friend Subba? Check out his youtube channel and his website. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lLsfHQp3xuM https://www.beingmemindfulness.com/ If you want scientific information and more details on how you can cultivate gratitude in your life, check out this earlier blog article of mine https://www.meditation-magic.com/blog/three-grateful-ways-to-access-joy-and-happiness Video of Origami in Motion - Schaumburg Public Library - Summer 2019 This was poetry for me - understanding our ability that we can go from suffering to a state of joy! “There is something wonderfully bold and liberating about saying yes to our entire imperfect and messy life.” ― Tara Brach Joy lies in the fight, in the attempt, in the suffering involved, not in the victory itself - Mahatma Gandhi We all have one thing that makes us suffer – a person we dislike at work, a health problem, financial issues . . . It seems very hard to let go of that one issue. We fritter away other opportunities to live life fully. The technical word for this behavior is “ruminate”. Negative ruminative thinking refers to our repeated thoughts about threatening or unpleasant such as upcoming exams and stressful events in the past or our future. The research is extremely consistent. People who ruminate are much more likely to develop problems with depression and anxiety, and those problems are hard to overcome for someone who fails to change ruminative thought patterns Over the past few months, I have chosen to spend my Saturdays away from Facebook and my laptop (Gasp!). I realize more that, our human brain was designed for handling conflict, solve problems and collaborate with others – often giving us a choice over the fight or flee part of the brain. I spend time pondering on a handful of powerful questions as I do my daily routines of laundry, weekly errands and action plan for the coming week – I call it - “Reflection with focus and awareness” I take time to reflect on my worries, anxieties and failures and accept them. As a result, I am more easily able to tap feelings love, joy and peace by letting go sadness, frustration or anxiety. Are you curious about the questions I ask myself? Set a 5- or 15-minute timer and start writing. Don’t edit it or redraft it – just let your thoughts and feelings flow. An alternate plan is to share your thoughts and feelings with a trusted friend who is a good listener. Some of my friends do share their reflections with their pet dog! <3 1. What do you most want to change about your life? 2. How have you tried to change this before? 3. What have you attempted in the past that didn't work? 4. Why do you think it didn't work? 5. On a scale of 0-10, how important is it for you to achieve change? That’s it! Just writing answers to these questions often gives me insights. Later in the day, I follow this with another 10-15 minutes of action plans. I have a “solution-based” approach that minimizes anxiety and promotes acceptance and creativity. Want to know more about that approach? Send me your scribbles, thoughts and reflections and I will send you a summary of the tools I use. Did you like this exercise? Check out the story of Guan Shi Ying, the Goddess of Compassion and Mercy. All of us are interconnected and the more we do to reduce the sufferings of others, the less we suffer. |
Categories
All
|
RSS Feed