Co-authored by Lauren Saternus, SSP, NCSP and Dr K
 
Are you worried about your mental health or is your loved one struggling with mental health issues?

The mental well-being of each one of us is critical to having a positive, more fulfilling experience with the world and the people around us. Stigma and denial can lead us to act against our own self-interests!
 
Here are some steps that can be taken to begin your journey to mental wellness.
 
Being in crisis is not necessary before considering any of the following:

• Talk to a trusted friend or family member – discuss your concerns and issues because it often helps to talk about these matters rather than just thinking about them.
• Share your concerns with your healthcare professional – most family practitioners are equipped with basics of mental health care issues and can provide you referrals.  Schaumburg has a good family counseling center. https://www.villageofschaumburg.com/residents/family-counseling-center
•  Connect with a professional or peer through a hotline 988 – these services are free and great for weekend and nights also as they are manned 24 hours a day
•  Enroll and participate in a mental health support group - Local NAMI chapters have several groups – check out the web link - https://nami.org/Support-Education/Support-Groups/NAMI-Connection  They are free, confidential and informative.
•  Attend educational events hosted by local community groups - the Schaumburg Township Mental Health Committee https://schaumburgtownship.org/events/ - Annual Event Mind Matters is hosted by them on the month of May

 In Schaumburg Township and several surrounding areas, voters collectively approved a referendum to establish a Community Mental Health Board. The new volunteer Board is aimed at improving mental health outcomes for our community by helping to weave together a comprehensive, cohesive system of mental health services in our community.  https://schaumburgtownship.org/our-township/mental-health-board/schaumburgtownship.org/our-township/mental-health-board/
 
It is important to remember that there is no one "right" way to seek mental health support. Everyone's journey to healing and recovery is different and begins at different stages.
 
Seeking help is not a sign of weakness or selfishness - it takes courage to acknowledge and address your mental health and engage in self-care.
 
Websites that we recommend are:
 
https://www.villageofschaumburg.com/residents/family-counseling-center
 
https://www.dhs.state.il.us/page.aspx?item=29735  - Illinois Mental Health Support
 
https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/find-help  - National Institute of Mental Health support page
 
https://nami.org/Support-Education/Publications-Reports/Guides/Navigating-a-Mental-Health-Crisis

​

Check out the workshop on No Perfect Love - a mini-webinar on how to cultivate strong, supportive and compassionate relationships with yourself and others

​All of us have a little voice that keeps evaluating and judging us. This voice may endorse or condemn our actions by saying, “Wow! You did a great job today” or “You are worthless” . At times, this "critic" or "room-mate" can be belittling and even humiliating. Sometimes, the inner critic will flash images from our past or show possible scenarios from the future – some good and some bad.

Some of my meditation students want techniques and methods to shut off the inner voice.  I urge you to explore that self talk through meditation and journaling. The inner critic plays a very important role in our lives. It often protects us from danger by acting as a moral compass and guiding us to do the right thing. It can be a very powerful ally to access solutions to problems, heal and grow relationships and improve our health.

I urge you to embrace your "inner" room-mate. Treat him or her like your BFF. If your inner voice is angry or hurtful, explore what makes it so. Here are the three steps you can use to harness your Inner Critic or "Room-mate" to your advantage

Awareness - Take time to write out the thoughts that come to your mind when you are happy, sad or relaxed. If you prefer, you can record them with an inexpensive digital audio recorder. Do not judge your observations at this stage. Be patient and understanding of the emotions and perspectives of your "room-mate".  You will often get important insights just by being aware of these inner voices and feelings.

Acceptance - Understand that your inner voice has an important message for you. Treat that voice with compassion and kindness. Accept the pain, frustration, fears and angers reflected in your inner voice.  Do the images, voices or feelings guide you in a particular direction? Do they put you down or help you grow?

Action - My favorite phrase is "Respond NOT React".  Have steps to respond to specific concerns and challenges posed by your inner voice. When you go through the two steps above, you tend to get multiple perspectives of a situation or relationship.  These perspectives or insights can be very helpful to find new solutions or directions. Now, replace the dis-empowering thoughts or images and encourage the empowering thoughts /images – if it is a negative voice – pretend that you are replacing a CD or audio tape or Mp3 in your head. Pretend to turn down the volume of the negative voice and replace with a positive voice or message. If it is a negative image, pretend that you are changing a DVD or VHS tape. Your imagination is a powerful ally because it can help you cope with your inner thoughts and images in an emotional and logical way. If you hear a positive message or image – encourage that message and be grateful for the support you get from your mind.

For example, if you are driving down to meet some one and you are late. Your inner voice may say – “As always, you are so late – why don’t you drive over the speed limit so you can reach in time”.  Be aware of the tone and content of these thoughts.  Accept that there have been cases where you have been late. Take the time to listen to your self-talk as you would listen to your best friend. As you listen, you can talk gently to yourself and counsel yourself in the best way you can. Understand that by driving faster than the speed limit, there is a chance you will be in an accident or be stopped by a police car.  Counsel yourself on the importance of safe driving and reaching your destination in a calm and relaxed manner. For future appointments, ensure that you start early and satisfy the important message your inner "room-mate" is giving you.

As you perform these steps, you will find it easier to become aware of your thoughts and control them. Again, this is not about positive self-talk – this is about becoming aware of the thoughts in your mind and how they influence your moods, emotions and attitudes. Meditation and mindfulness practices help you improve these "inner voice" accepting skills.

I recommend “What to Say When You Talk to Yourself” by Shad Helmstetter. The book suggests many powerful ways to cope with negative chatter in our minds and use empowering self-talk.