Stop Being Mean to Yourself - the Art of Gentle Self Talk
Three Lies About Negative Thinking:
Now, here's the truth about negative self-talk:
We have negative thoughts because of that is how the human brain evolved. This helped humans in the past stay safe. Our brains aren't always trying to make us happy, but more about staying safe. But, we can learn to be happier. Two main things to remember are: (a) we can't just turn off negative thoughts, and (b) sometimes, these negative stories can be useful.
Telling yourself good things when you don't believe them doesn't help. For example, saying "I'm thin" when you feel overweight doesn't work. Instead, accept some of the negative things you think, but then look for real proof to help you think better.
Meditating and writing can help you understand your thoughts. But, it's also important to do little things that move you toward what you want. If you think you're "lazy," admit the truth in some aspects of your life, but also try to change little by little.
To sum it up:
Understand that negative thoughts are natural.
Be kind to yourself, even when some negative thoughts are true.
Do small things to reach your dreams, even if your thoughts say you can't.
Check out the Youtube video above - I, sometimes, comfort myself by eating. Unfortunately, it is junk food or chocolate chip mint ice-cream. Here are some alternatives I work on. I am not perfect and these tips do help me. I hope you they will help you too.
Helmstetter, S. (2017). What to Say When You Talk to Your Self. Gallery Books; Updated edition.
Kross, E. (2021). Chatter: The Voice in Our Head, Why It Matters, and How to Harness It. Crown; First Edition.
Goldsmith Turow, R. (2022). The Self-Talk Workout: Six Science-Backed Strategies to Dissolve Self-Criticism and Transform the Voice in Your Head. Shambhala.
a guided finger meditation
Engage your senses with soothing music, guided imagery and a labyrinth tracing activity which leverages the power of touch. Click the album cover to learn more.