​Stop Being Mean to Yourself

Three Lies About Negative Thinking

1. You can stop negative thoughts if you have enough willpower.
   
2. You must always say positive things to yourself to defeat bad thoughts.
   
3. If you meditate and keep a diary, you will never feel stressed or worried.
   

The Truth About Negative Self-TalkWe have negative thoughts because of how the human brain evolved. In the past, this helped humans stay safe from danger. Our brains do not always prioritize our happiness. Instead, they focus on survival.
We can train our brains to be happier. Please remember two main points.
First, we cannot simply turn off negative thoughts.
Second, some of these negative stories can actually be useful if we listen to them without judgment.
Telling yourself positive things that you do not believe does not help. For example, saying "I am thin" when you feel overweight is not effective. It is better to accept the thought you are having, but then look for real evidence to help you form a more balanced perspective.
Taking Small ActionsMeditation and journaling help you understand your thoughts. It is also important to take small steps toward your goals. If you feel "lazy," admit that you struggle in some areas, but try to make small changes one day at a time.
To sum it up:

• Understand that negative thoughts are natural.
  
• Be kind to yourself, even when some negative thoughts feel true.
  
• Do small things to reach your dreams, even if your thoughts say you cannot.
  

Soothing Yourself Without FoodI sometimes comfort myself by eating. Unfortunately, I often reach for junk food or chocolate chip mint ice cream. In the video above I share how our brains are hardwired to crave sugar, salt, and fat when we feel sad or anxious [01:00].
I am working on these healthy alternatives mentioned in the video:

• Drink water first: Often, we mistake thirst for hunger [03:30].
  
• The "G-BOMBS" method: Focus on eating Greens, Beans, Onions, Mushrooms, Berries, and Seeds to feel full and satisfied [05:55].
  
• Find a distraction: When a craving hits, try a three minute activity like listening to music or going for a walk [09:00].
  
• The "Buddy System": Call or text a friend for two minutes to move past a craving [09:20].
  

I am not perfect and these tips help me. I hope they will help you too.

ReferencesGoldsmith Turow, R. (2022). The Self-Talk Workout: Six Science-Backed Strategies to Dissolve Self-Criticism and Transform the Voice in Your Head. Shambhala.
Helmstetter, S. (2017). What to Say When You Talk to Your Self. Gallery Books; Updated edition.
Kross, E. (2021). Chatter: The Voice in Our Head, Why It Matters, and How to Harness It. Crown; First Edition.
Video Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D4yCljsYHeQ