Over the past ten years of training people to feel love, peace and joy, my most successful students have taught me ten life-changing lessons. These are seemingly ordinary men and women who have dramatically lowered their anxiety levels, increased happiness and joy in their lives, often within days and weeks of practicing meditation and mindfulness techniques regularly. Clearly, meditation was a tool and I think these attitudes and approaches go much deeper than learning simple exercises in focus and awareness practice. Setting clear and definable goals is important BUT not enough!
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Disclaimer: The information provided here cannot substitute for a full evaluation by a health professional. Please share this information with your health-care provider and also get the advice of a Pain Specialist to find specific techniques and complementary therapies that are appropriate for your specific condition and situation.
Chronic Pain versus Acute Pain Acute pain is caused by a specific disease or injury, serves an important signal, purpose, is associated with specific nerves, local and temporary in nature. Chronic pain, in contrast, can last weeks, months or even years and can be impacted by our feelings and thoughts. Both acute and chronic pain are estimated to cost 650 million lost workdays and $65 billion a year. Chronic pain can impact our mental health, leading to depression, anxiety, and isolation. It can affect our sleep and relationships and overall quality of life. Nutrition Several studies on chronic pain and nutrition have produced mixed results but most studies indicate at decreasing the amount of red meat in your diet and increasing the amount of fresh fruits and vegetables appears to reduce chronic pain. There is little evidence that a “pure” vegetarian or vegan diet can reduce chronic pain but some people with chronic pain have foods that appear to “reduce” or “increase” chronic pain. Take the advice of a good nutritionist to help you with your choices. Use of supplements or herbal medications should be done under the supervision of your physician. Many of these choices can interfere with your pain-relief prescription medications and should be used with care. Physical Activity American Pain Society Guidelines recommends that patients with chronic pain perform exercise of moderate intensity 2 or 3 times per week with a gradual increase in physical activity to avoid injury. Please consider a variety of physical activities that you enjoy – swim, bike or walking (based on your mobility). Weight training and yoga are also good choices. Experiment with group and solo activities to find the mix that works best for you. Sleep/Relaxation/Meditation How you feel and think can play an important role in your pain perception. Sleep is an important part of pain management. Adequate sleep helps you manage chronic better. Consider meditation, self-hypnosis or visual imagery techniques for relaxation to improve your pain management. There is good scientific studies that prove CBT (Cognitive Behavior Therapy) is very effective in managing pain. I urge many of my clients to use “Free-Writing”. This technique involves writing uninterrupted/ unedited for 10-15 minutes. At the end of the writing, you can destroy or discard your written material. Research by Pennebaker and others (https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/overcoming-child-abuse/201103/writing-and-healing ) shows this kind of writing is very helpful in becoming aware of strong emotional states and managing them. Traditional journaling, where you write on specific topics and review the journal for insights also appears to manage your emotional state and, by extension, your chronic pain. Massage – Acupuncture - Acupressure Massage and Acupuncture appear to reduce pain with people suffering a variety of chronic pain conditions. Make sure you take the recommendations of a trusted friend or family member. Feel free to interview these practitioners and ask for references from other people with your pain conditions. A good review of costs, coverage by insurance and a tour of the facilities is also recommended. Acupressure, similar to acupressure, involves applying pressure in specific acupuncture points in your body – not necessarily in the area of the current pain. They can be self-administered and, are considered a low cost yet effective alternative to acupuncture. Getting Help/Helping Others Chronic pain sufferers can experience depression, anxiety and isolation. Be aware these challenges and ask for help. Take time to read and research about your condition. Be active with support groups and take time to educate your family and friends about your challenges. Research shows that people who are actively involved in a community or volunteer work appear to manage their pain better. See if you can find volunteer opportunities that you enjoy. Summary Managing Chronic Pain is feasible in many cases. Your approach, focus and perseverance will help you decrease stress, depression and anxiety. A healthy life style with good nutrition and physical activity along with good mental fitness will help you improve your pain management skills. Explore complementary therapies such as massage and acupuncture to see if they are appropriate and helpful for your condition. Helpful Resources Drug dependent OR Drug addiction – Check out this online quiz, if you are concerned that you may be addicted to your prescription pain medications. https://ncadd.org/get-help/take-the-test/am-i-drug-addicted Disclaimer: : The results of this self-test are not intended to constitute a diagnosis of drug addiction and should be used solely as a guide to understanding your drug use and the potential health issues involved with it. The information provided here cannot substitute for a full evaluation by a health professional. http://www.utexas.edu/features/2005/writing/ - Pennebaker et al – Writing to Heal, great resource on the power of writing to manage your feelings and pain. Les Fehmi and Jim Robbins (2010) Dissolving Pain: Simple Brain-Training Exercises for Overcoming Chronic Pain Mel Pohl and Katherine Ketcham (2015) The Pain Antidote: The Proven Program to Help You Stop Suffering from Chronic Pain, Avoid Addiction to Painkillers Delgado, R., York, A., Lee, C., Crawford, C., Buckenmaier, C., Schoomaker, E., & Crawford, P. (2014). Assessing the Quality, Efficacy, and Effectiveness of the Current Evidence Base of Active Self‐Care Complementary and Integrative Medicine Therapies for the Management of Chronic Pain: A Rapid Evidence Assessment of the Literature. Pain Medicine, 15(S1), S9-S20. American Pain Society. (1999). Principles of analgesic use in the treatment of acute pain and cancer pain. American Pain Society, Check section IV http://americanpainsociety.org/uploads/education/section_4.pdf and http://painmatters.com/healthcare-professionals/multidisciplinary-approach-to-managing-chronic-pain.aspx Nutrition and Chronic Pain – Check out this link for an informative brochure http://www.douleurchronique.org/gestion/Documents/NUTRITION_ANG.pdf Using Guilt to Motivate and Transform! One of my favorite Indian dishes is Okra aka Lady’s fingers, those long green 3-4” pods that came to India from North-East Africa, stir-fried by mother with a long slivers of onions, chunks of tomatoes, ginger and garlic, and assortment of spices, and served with warm rotis or rice with a touch of yogurt to cool the first hit of hotness. When I was about 10 years old, my mother waxed profusely about the latest scientific evidence that showed okra contained phosphorus, an important nutrient for the human brain. Coincidentally, I scored 100% in a math test, the day I had a good portion of her okra dish! Okra dishes soon became part of my meals on the days I had my math exams! Now, like any good mother, my mother realized that logic and “scientific” evidence were not enough to motivate me. She used a wide range of “behavioral modification” techniques, my father’s contributions remained “Listen to Your Mother” and “Find a book for that answer”. My mother taught me the power of guilt at a very young age. She used it liberally in cases where she needed a quick response or where patient logical explanations did not produce the right results. If it was a choice between hanging out with friends or helping her with shopping – guilt was used to get quick results. She would use liberal praise when I did what she wanted. As a teenager, I often called on her tactics. I would tease her about using EB/Emotional Blackmail, a unique combination of fear, sense of duty and guilt to manipulate me into doing the right thing. Research shows that guilt has its benefits in helping us to transform our lives. A study of criminals, found those who felt guilty, were less likely to break the law again than those who felt no guilt. The researchers measured “guilt” and “shame” levels in around 500 inmates in a prison outside Washington DC using hypothetical questions. They followed these inmates for a year after their release. Criminals with sense of guilt did not reoffend as often as those with no sense of guilt. Guilt is focused on behavior; shame on the sense of our being. It appears that people who have guilt, seem to want to correct the harm they have caused. Check out the TOSCA test below that will give you an idea of the mix of guilt, self-talk, shame self-talk and blaming others that you do. You can score yourself and see your score in comparison to the average values (different for each gender). If you score high on guilt, you probably follow these steps already 1. You take time to journal or think about behaviors that do not serve you well and are aware of your own “rules” 2. Your contemplation often guides you to take corrective steps 3. Even if you have some miss-steps, the sense of discomfort drives to comply with your “rules: Please understand misplaced guilt or very high levels of guilt are not productive and cannot be used to sustain change. You have to use a mix of guilt and positive emotions to transform your life. For example, in my mid-30s, I felt very guilty about not making healthy choices due to my busy work-life. I put on weight, I had low levels of energy and I feel sick often. These results, in turn, drove me to healthier eating and working out regularly. That was not enough - it was my love of walking and biking and the delicious healthy foods that my wife cooked that sustained the changes I made. Carrot and stick works well for most of us! What are your carrots and sticks?! Shame, on the other hand, can hamper us and even immobilize us. The sense of hurt and pain can be considerable. We often feel alone and helpless with pain. Recently, a professional photographer confessed that she hated my photograph in our local yoga studio. I thought it was cute photograph shot by one of my friends; it was goofy and it featured a stuffed monkey on my shoulder (Get it? – get that monkey off my back!). My face flushed with a sense of shame. She went on to tell me that the photos of other instructors were shot professionally. My first reaction was to be very defensive and to blurt out I did not care about “my looks”. But I bit my tongue and thought it through. I was surprised at my feelings of shame and inadequacy but I took time to do a reality check. I respect this lady’s photography skills and professional opinions. I also knew that she was a good person and she was not trying to belittle me or be mean to me. The very act of acknowledging my shame helped me deal with it. She offered to shoot another photo and offer me a choice of photos. I accepted that offer. Take time to explore your shame. 1. Sharing and exploring your shame is very helpful. I recommend you set a timer and just write about your shame for 15 minutes or more. 2. It helps to see the big picture and realize that you are not alone with this problem 3. Connecting with trusted family and friends or a competent professional therapist can help you do a reality check 4. Being objective about your inner needs is helpful, in contrast to just focusing on your painful feelings of shame I hope you realize these are simple yet hard steps to follow. I urge you to continue your meditation/mindfulness practices. Research shows people who meditate regularly show significant positive changes to parts of the brain that helps us be aware of our strong emotions and control them. My mother was right. In addition to regular exercise and meditation, a good nutrition program is an important part of brain health! My wife and I do eat okra regularly. Disclaimer: Feel free to stop or opt out of these exercises if you feel overwhelmed or uncomfortable. This is an article in inner/ mind skills, not therapy. If shame or guilt have a considerable negative impact on your life, please consider going to a professional therapist. (TOSCA) Test of Self-Conscious Affect Version 3 - Google for this form in the internet. https://www.researchgate.net/publication/282761251_The_Shame_and_Guilt_Scales_of_the_Test_of_Self-Conscious_Affect-Adolescent_TOSCA-A_Factor_Structure_Concurrent_and_Discriminant_Validity_and_Measurement_and_Structural_Invariance_Across_Ratings_of_Mal An interactive website link is here https://transitionsmft.org/resources/quizzes/shame/ If the above link does not work, google other websites for this "TOSCA shame guilt" test. Rising Strong by Brené Brown (Aug 25, 2015) The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are by Brene Brown (Sep 1, 2010) The Upside of Your Dark Side: Why Being Your Whole Self--Not Just Your "Good" Self--Drives Success and Fulfillment (Sep 1, 2015) by Todd Kashdan/ Robert Biswas Interested in learning more . . . check out this video on my workshop and personal coaching steps on this topic.
Acknowledge – Often times, we do not take time to contemplate the entire event or death. I am a big believer of writing. Just writing 15 min a day for 3 days – writing in detail about your emotional pain and loss – is advocated by researcher James Pennebaker. Look at the loss and its impact on your life. There are often feelings of guilt and shame associated with the loss. Examine your perspective and the role of your loved ones. Acknowledge your feelings, emotions and thoughts. Consider writing a poem, an essay or creating a piece of art. Meaning – explore the death, demise or breakup and understand the meaning. What went wrong, what is there to treasure, what will you miss. Meaning may change over time but take time to explore what this loss means to you right now. How has this loss or event impacted you and has defined you in the past and can guide you in the future. What lessons have you learned? Serve and Honor – Many people donate money to their favorite causes. I urge you to volunteer and work in honor of the person or loss. Working in a local soup kitchen or animal shelter, participating in a charity walk, run or bike ride or helping people in distress are powerful ways to find an outlet for your memories. Tribute to Miss Elizabeth Krause Last year, I started this article to help friends of mine who have lost pets and wanted to understand how mindfulness can be used to cope with their loss. The article languished till I recently lost my friend Miss Elizabeth Krause rather suddenly to Ovarian Cancer. I have known her for 24+ years and it was hard to come in terms with her demise. I am attaching a 8 minute tribute video “5 lessons I learned from Ironman Elizabeth Krause”. The creation of this video helped me grieve for my friend. I hope you will be inspired by her message. Professional Help and Support from Your Loved Ones Grieving is a very personal and individual experience. Some people feel better in weeks and months but for some people it may take years. Please consider the services of a professional and reach out for support from your loved ones. Communication is a very important process. You are rarely alone; many people want to help you. Make sure you ask for help and accept the support that is meaningful to you. Grieving for Pets Often my students wonder about grieving for pets. While pet lovers can empathize with the broken heart, most others brush away these feelings of sorrow . . . it is just an animal, you can get another. Most pet lovers will tell you it is never that simple. Most pets give you unconditional love. Loss of this unconditional love affects us in many ways. Take time to follow the three practices outline for your pets also. Great Resources http://www.washingtonpost.com/national/health-science/the-death-of-pet-can-hurt-as-much-as-the-loss-of-a-relative/2012/02/21/gIQALXTXcS_story.html http://www.humanesociety.org/animals/resources/tips/coping_with_pet_death.html James W. Pennebaker (2004) Writing to Heal: A Guided Journal for Recovering from Trauma & Emotional Upheaval Center for Journal Therapy Inc. 178 pp Sameet M Kumar (2005) Grieving Mindfully: A Compassionate and Spiritual Guide to Coping with Loss, New Harbinger Publications, 176 pp Five Lessons Ironman Athlete Elizabeth Krause taught me! (Youtube Link)
In 2007, a friend shared a copy of Dr Fehmi’s book "The Open-Focus Brain: Harnessing the Power of Attention to Heal Mind and Body". The book transformed my personal life and the way I teach people to embrace stress and find joy and happiness on a daily basis. Dr Fehmi has a revolutionary approach Open Focus™ that utilizes the knowledge of how pain actually resides in our brain. We can use his drug-free techniques to reduce a variety of physical pain such as muscular pain, headaches and emotional pain from trauma and grief. Based on more than 40 years of scientific research on brainwave biofeedback (neurofeedback), Dr Fehmi and his team will show you creative ways to understand your mind and brain and practice simple attention exercises to reduce your daily stress and chronic emotional and physical pains. He will also use brain training equipment to make your practice efficient and effective. Day One-Brain Synchrony Training
Day Two-Multi-Person Synchrony Training
Day Three-Open Focus Attention Training
Check out this link for more details about upcoming workshops The Open Focus™/Brain Synchrony Workshop. Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding. Khalil Gibran |
a guided finger meditationEngage your senses with soothing music, guided imagery and a labyrinth tracing activity which leverages the power of touch. Click the album cover to learn more. Categories
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